"Our first goal," El Brujo said, "is not to panic." She'd settled herself once more all smooth and unruffled on the foot of the bed, her paws and tail tucked underneath her, the very image of feline contentment. If you didn't know her, I mean: the slight tremor that kept twitching her whiskers told me quite clearly that she wasn't entirely comfortable with the squirrel perched on the bedpost. Serena's tail was twitching, too, but then it always does that. And the butterflies in my stomach were so quickly evolving into hornets, I couldn't help but sputter a laugh. "Don't see that happening, Bru," I told her. Her dark eyes narrowed. "A positive attitude, please, August. After all, we've accomplished every step we've taken toward that goal so far, have we not?" "We have!" Serena gave the bedpost a sharp whack with a hind paw. "For you are seated once more correctly in your chair!" Of course, I'd only flung myself out of the chair in a last-ditch effort to stop El Brujo from killing Serena, but I refrained from pointing that out. It didn't seem the sort of statement that could further any of our goals, after all... "Indeed." El Brujo looked as smug as only a cat can. "And now that we've--" A commotion at the window, a large scruffy crow flapping in from the afternoon to land on the sill while a slightly smaller and sleeker crow grabbed the top of the frame where it stuck out toward the De La Vega's house next door. "Hey, hey, hey!" the big one screeched. "What's the beef, here, huh? Honoria said she heard shouting, and--!" "Sounded to me," the smaller crow interrupted, "like there was gonna be a carcass or two coming out this window in a couple minutes." She cocked her head. "But nobody's eating nobody! Talk about disappointing!" Serena huffed out a breath and drew herself up to her full height on the bed knob. "There will be no eating of anyone today! Today is only for happiness because today Mr. Augie will begin courting his future mate!" My lungs turned to stone in my chest, and I was sure I was going to suffocate there in the silence that greeted Serena's statement. But then both the crows seemed to explode, Jefe pounding his wings against the windowsill and shouting, "It's about damn time, y'know?? You been miserable like that long as I've known you!" Honoria swooped in over her brother's head and skittered to a stop beside El Brujo, her talons tearing the top of the unzipped sleeping bag I use for a bedspread a lot more than Serena's little claws had done in her earlier mad dash. "This for true, Gata?" "Apparently so." El Brujo flicked her whiskers at Serena. "I was advocating a 'slow but steady' approach in opposition to August's preferred method, which I believe I referred to as 'frozen solid.' But when Miss Serena involved herself--" "Yes!" Serena chittered, doing a little dance on the bedpost. "I am proactive by nature!" Jefe made a rattling sound deep in his throat and dropped from the sill to land with a floof on my pillow. "We gotta go all out for this, you get me? Flowers, a zoot suit, a few racing stripes for the chair--" "Oh, please!" Honoria clicked her beak. "You got the taste and style of a mockingbird, Jefe!" Hopping forward, she looked me up and down with those solid black eyes. "Flowers, OK, but a tuxedo's the thing, and--" "Oh!" Serena scrambled into my lap. "One of those great big jackets I have seen humans wear when the rains come! They have many pockets, and all of them could be filled with food!" Which was just about enough of that. "Folks?" I said as loudly as in animal talk. "This isn't a race to see how quickly I can die of embarrassment, y'know." "Alas, August," El Brujo said as dryly as a desert wind. "I fear that's exactly what it is. And you've only yourself to blame for it." "Me?" I glared at her, Honoria and Serena staring at her, too. "What's that supposed to mean?" She yawned, her tongue curling, then gave us all a slit- eyed kitty grin. "What is it your little pony program calls it? 'The magic of friendship?'" She nodded her head from the squirrel to the crows. "These are the friends you've made in this neighborhood. And we're going to help you with this no matter how much it kills you."
Which leads us into 21.
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