Pinkie Pie's Evil Twin

The story I wrote for last Monday's "WriteFriend/DrawFriend" event over at The Equestria Daily. I've since thought of a way to make this chapter 1 of something a lot longer, so expect to see more of it eventually. It was inspired by this image here:

                       Pinkie Pie's Evil Twin

                            by AugieDog


    Enraptured, Pinkie Pie reached a front hoof out to touch the

silver framework of the object leaning against one of the 

library’s bookshelves.  "It's so shiny and shimmery and much 

much more than three-dimensional!  What magical, marvelous, 

miraculous sort of thing is this, Twilight??"

    "Uhhh..." she heard the unicorn say from across the room.  

"It's a mirror, Pinkie."

    "A mirror?"  Pinkie cocked her head.  Rectangular and a 

little taller than her, it did look like a mirror at first, and 

the pink pony gazing back at her from it might have appeared to 

be her reflection--  "To the untrained eye perhaps," she said 

aloud.

    The Twilight Sparkle in that backwards world glanced up from 

the book she was nosing through.  "Uhh, actually?" the voice of 

her own Twilight said behind her, the image cleverly mimicking 

the movements of her muzzle.  "It's a mirror, all right.  

Applejack had it out in her barn, and I was looking for 

something I could maybe cut it up to build Spike his own 

telescope.  But the glass is too pitted and warped for that.  

Could you use a mirror, Pinkie?"

    Hearing the words Twilight wasn't saying, Pinkie gasped in 

shock and delight.  "You're absolutely right!  It's my destiny, 

isn't it?"  She struck a heroic pose and couldn't help admiring 

her counterpart in the glass taking a similar stance.  "I must 

guard this portal against those monsters who would dare invade 

our beloved Equestria with their...their--"  She put a hoof to 

her chin.  "Should they have slime-dripping tentacles or pony-

crushing teeth, d'you think?"

    Glancing back and forth, Pinkie saw that both Twilights were 

wearing that furrow-browed expression she saw so often on her 

purple unicorn friend.  "Excuse me?" she asked.

    Pinkie clapped her hoofs.  "Of course!  They need both!"  

Pressing herself against the cold surface of the infernal 

device, Pinkie pulled pink and purple streamers from her 

panniers and strapped the thing to her back.  "Fear not!" she 

announced.  "They!  Shall!  Not!  Pass!"  Trying to rear up and 

scissor her front hoofs dramatically, she misjudged how heavy 

her new burden was and ended up falling chin first onto the 

carpet, the mirror sliding forward to bop her between the ears.

    A moment got her hoofs under her again, and she turned a 

triumphant grin toward the gaping Twilight.  "The gateway 

remains secure!" she reassured her, then with a toss of her 

mane, she trotted toward the library's front door.

    "But..." she heard Twilight call.  "It's just a mirror!"


                              ***


    Armed with several boxes of cupcakes and a pitcher of ice 

tea, Pinkie Pie set up watch that night, the alleged mirror 

propped against the wall beside the big oven at the bakery: no 

use doing this at home, after all, where the cupcakes were so 

far away.  The bakery was an inherently defensible position, 

too, rolling pins, bags of flour, and big ceramic bowls ready in 

case she needed to clonk anypony on the head.

    And besides, she felt so comfortable here, she had no 

trouble at all stretching out on one of the little throw rugs 

and falling immediately asleep.

    She came awake, though, when something started humming, a 

sound that made her think maybe bees had gotten into the bakery 

again and were quietly trying to replace the regular honey with 

some sort of experimental, mutant honey.  Opening her eyes to 

tell them she'd rather they didn't do that, she was confused to 

see nothing but the mirror reflecting the silvery shimmer of the 

moon over the walls, the pots and pans, the stoves and ovens--

    Especially since the moon wasn't shining in from anywhere.

    Still, the mirror kept shimmering, and as she watched, 

something began moving deep inside it, something dark getting 

larger, something pushing now against the mirror's surface and 

bulging it out like an unwanted raisin against the otherwise 

perfectly baked crown of a muffin.  Pinkie's tail twitched, and 

a pony emerged from the mirror, a black pegasus with a white 

mane, white along her chest and wings, her cutie mark a weird 

symbol that looked like a capital 'H' with a new hairdo, the 

tops trimmed off and curls brushed out on either side.

    The pony looked around the room, and Pinkie saw she had 

glasses perched on her snout and a green kerchief gathering her 

mane into white spikes over her forehead.  "Gracious!" the odd 

pony said, her voice almost as snooty-sounding as Rarity when 

she was making one of her points.  "Has it worked?"

    The voice clinched it as far as Pinkie was concerned.  

"Yes!" she yelled, leaping up from the rug.

    The other pony startled back a step and snapped her head 

over to Pinkie.  "Ah!  Hello!"  She began to trot across the 

floor toward Pinkie, and Pinkie could feel her heart beating 

faster and faster with each step the other took.  "Forgive my 

unorthodox entrance.  My name is Thagoras Pi, and I am--"

    "My evil twin!" Pinkie shouted, starting to dance around the 

kitchen.  "I knew it!  I knew it!  I--!"

    "Twin?"  Pinkie's evil twin blinked through her glasses.  

"We...we look nothing alike."

    "Well, of course we don't!"  Pinkie stopped her dance, 

rolled her eyes that she even had to explain something so basic.  

"If you fool everyone into thinking you're me just because you 

look like me, where's the evil genius in that??"

    The pegasus ruffled her wings.  "I don't think I quite 

qualify under the 'evil' provision, either."  She cocked her 

head as if considering.  "Yes, like all of us, I have the 

occasional moral lapse, but--"

    "OK.  First thing?"  Pinkie assumed her lecturing position, 

one front hoof raised, her eyes partly closed.  "Your name."  

She drew the syllables out and used her spookiest voice.  "Thag-

or-as!  How is that not evil??"

    Thagoras blinked some more.  "It was my grandmother's--"

    "Second!  You stepped--no, you oozed!  You oozed out of an 

evil magic mirror!"

    "Ah, yes.  Actually, you see, I was--"

    "And third!"  Pinkie advanced toward Thagoras with her most 

devastating point, the black and white pegasus backing away from 

her.  "You're my evil twin!  They don't let you be an evil twin 

if you're not evil!"

    Thagoras's nostrils twitched.  "I...I can't help but feel 

we've gotten off on the wrong hoof somehow.  Perhaps--"

    "Fine!"  Pinkie sat back and folded her front legs across 

her chest.  "If you're gonna be that way, I'll show you how it's 

done!"  She stood, flicked her tail, and started for the door.


                              ***


    Storming out of the bakery into the moonlit night, Pinkie 

wasn't even sure if Thagoras was following.  Just her luck to 

get stuck with some sorta rookie evil twin!  She started 

wondering who she could complain to--was there someone in charge 

of assigning evil twins?--but a scuffling on the doorstep made 

her look back to see Thagoras coming after her, the pegasus 

looking around, her eyes wider than ever behind her little 

glasses.  "I've done it!  An alternate Ponyville!  The grocery 

store's on the wrong side of the street, and--  Is that the 

library?"

    "Twilight's!  Yes!  We'll start there!"  Pinkie nodded in 

satisfaction and started trotting across the town square.  Maybe 

this would get her evil twin into the swing of things!

    Thagoras caught up and matched her pace.  "Twilight?  At the 

library?"  Excitement filled her voice.  "That proves I've 

crossed over!  The Bosky Twilight I know would much rather loll 

about teasing her mane than do anything as strenuous as 

thinking!  Why, I recall one time--"

    Pinkie nodded as Thagoras launched into some story, but she 

wasn't listening, too busy watching along the gutters for--  

"Ah!"  She smelled it before she saw it in the midnight 

darkness: a cabbage that had fallen off a produce wagon during 

the market earlier in the day.  "Here we go!"

    "--it was simply the most ridiculous thing for an earth pony 

to--  Hmmm?  I'm sorry; what?"  Thagoras had gone on a few steps 

without apparently noticing that Pinkie had stopped.  Pinkie 

added it to the list she'd started for her eventual complaint 

letter and decided she'd better keep things basic.

    "Stand here."  Pinkie pointed to the cabbage.  "And kick 

that--"  She moved her hoof to point at the front window of the 

library just a few yards further along.  "There."

    The black and white pegasus just blinked.  "I beg your 

pardon?"

    Pinkie puffed a breath through her nostrils.  "I'm getting 

awful tired of this whole sweet and innocent thing!"  She spread 

her front hoofs in appeal.  "Dark passions swirl within your 

fiendish breast!  Let's get 'em on out here!"

    Thagoras just looked uncomfortable.  "I don't wish to appear 

rude, ummm...  I'm sorry, I never did get your name."

    "Didn't get my--??"  That was it!  The last straw!  Pinkie 

felt her eyes spinning in her head.  "I'm your good twin!  

Pinkie Pie!  Don't they even give you, like, a brochure or 

something explaining all this??"

    "Pinkie Pie??"  Thagoras's spiky mane sprang up even 

further.  "Then you're my--!  And I'm your--!"

    A hinge creaked.  "What's going on out there??" Twilight's 

voice called.

    "It wasn't me, Twilight!"  Pinkie had been waiting all night 

to say it.  "It was my evil twin!"

    "No, no, no!"  Thagoras took a step back from Pinkie.  

"Something's gone horribly awry!"

    "What??"  Twilight was leaning further out the window now.  

"Who's down there with you, Pinkie?"

    Pinkie gestured to the pegasus.  "I told you!  Thagoras Pi!  

My evil twin!  She came out of that mirror just like I told you!  

I mean, just like I would have told you if I hadn't thought at 

first that monsters would come out, but--!"

    A sigh from above.  "Hold on," Twilight said, then the air 

beside Pinkie fluttered, and Twilight Sparkle appeared wearing 

what Pinkie always thought of as her grumpy face.  "OK, now, 

what--?"

    "No!" Thagoras cried again, turning and running for the 

bakery.  "I can't be here!  My formula should only have taken me 

to a plane where my counterpart no longer existed!  My presence 

here imperils the entire multiverse!"

    "What?" Twilight asked.

    "Wait!" Pinkie yelled, and the two of them took off after 

the other pony.  "There's so much more we need to do!"

    Thagoras flew through the bakery door, but Pinkie and 

Twilight weren't far behind: skidding inside, Pinkie saw her 

evil twin gesturing and tapping on the mirror, little spots of 

light dancing over its surface.  "I checked and re-checked!" she 

was muttering.  "This should never have happened!"

    "Magic?" Pinkie heard Twilight say beside her.  "From a 

pegasus?"

    Pinkie cleared her throat.  "Not just any pegasus!"  She 

tapped her chest with a front hoof.  "My evil twin!"

    Thagoras turned, her eyes panicked behind her glasses.  

"It's physics rather that magic, actually, and while this looks 

like quite a lovely Ponyville, I'm sorry I can't stay to 

explain.  The quantum energy flux that must be even now building 

up around us--"  She tapped one last place on the mirror, and 

the surface went all shimmery like it had earlier, that hum 

filling the air.  "For the continued existence of all baryonic 

matter, perhaps it might be best that you consider this to have 

merely been a dream of some sort."  And turning, she pushed 

against the glass, melted into it like butter on a hot pan.  The 

wavering light swallowed her and vanished, darkness filling the 

kitchen again.

    When it kept on being dark and quiet, Pinkie blew out a 

sigh.  "Oh, well.  Even if she wasn't the best evil twin, I 

guess it's still nice to know she's out there somewhere."

    "But..." Twilight squeaked; Pinkie turned, saw her friend's 

eyes wide and white-rimmed, her ears folded back along her head.  

"It's just a mirror..."

    "Well, yeah."  Pinkie trotted over, touched the silver 

frame, and grinning at her reflection, thought about the pattern 

Thagoras had tapped there, a pattern as easy to remember as the 

recipe for chocolate peppermint cupcakes.  "It is now."